2004-09-07 - 12:05 a.m.
School just started a couple of weeks ago. I'm ecxited that I am actually going to graduate next May with a bachalors degree! Well, I would always regret not getting one, if I had never gone back to college like I did. So, I'm extremely glad that I chose and stuck to this course of action.
I still feel incomplete with my education though. I feel like I could maybe possibly get a masters degree. Who knows. I also feel like I've outgrown Cedar Rapids... I will always love it and regard it as a home away from homes... but I feel like if I don't get out soon, than I might possibly get stuck here, which is not a bad thing, it's just not what I want for my life.
I also feel like I could have another child or two possibly within the next ten years or so. Once again, who knows.
My boyfriend, whom I now believe to be the love I was fated to end up with in my life, will be starting his job tomorrow morning at Sony Music, woohoo! I'm so proud of him... he's done good.
I also plan to own a new home, and a new car within the next five years, that is my next goal in life... and a lofty one at that.
I don't want marriage for a while. I don't think Josh is ready, and neither am I. I still don't trust that he'll be the same that he is to me now if we were married. Love isn't enough, respect is also just as important, or else the love can be abused beyond repair, which is what happened in Josh's first marriage.
I wish little Christopher can be a part of my life. Josh doesn't want me to feel that way, he just wants me to focus on the fact that he is his dad, and I DO focus on that, I just can't help but feel MORE than just that. And, I love and miss this little boy that I've never even met, I don't know how to explain it. I want to cherish him, just as I cherish Jacob. This is also a goal that I have in my life... to know precious Christopher.
My body is also a lofty goal, that I need to get slimmed down, and operated on... I reak of visible human flaws.
This is my life's plan... for now.
